I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
