thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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