He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
