you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
