She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
