Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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