do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
