We're like a lot better than the average bears
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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