I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
