I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
