im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We need to rekindle our bromance
mondays should just be called national damage control day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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