please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
