I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
