I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I touched a dick in church today
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
