They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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