Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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