Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
