so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
