We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize