Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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