Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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