Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
