Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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