Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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