whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
