hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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