all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
