Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
