i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize