your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
