The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
