hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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