Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
