terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
