Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Randomize