I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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