Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
