If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize