pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think my vagina is haunted
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
