I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
