we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I believe in your delicious
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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