cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
