If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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