I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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