My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
