I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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