420 ftw
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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