You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
