I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
