I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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