When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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