I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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