I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize