i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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