I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
