Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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