i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
