I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
