Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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