Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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