How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
