Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
