Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
