If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
