a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize